⬇️ SPIRAL DOWN ⬇️

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What if I told you that we shouldn’t strive to go higher. Maybe we should allow ourselves to sink deeper… sink into the now. Feel every moment. Good and bad… and just let it be.

Yeah. Do you think we’ll be alright?

Like you’re sinking…

I don’t know if I can do it… Actually, I know I can’t… Fuck! I feel like I can’t breathe.

You can… but eventually you will have to confront it. Otherwise, you will never have control. 

I’ll just distract myself! Watch tv and scroll on my phone…  

If we do then all you have is the silence. 

How? Can we just stop? 

Regardless if it did or didn’t. We can’t do anything about it now. We have to let go. And not think of what happened or what can happen next.

Fuck you! It made sense. I told you it made sense at the time! 

You have to.

I don’t know if I can.

Well now you can.  

Like you said!! I’ve never learned those hundreds of times before! 

You need to stop. You aren’t any of those.  

Why not? I’m an idiot! A piece of shit! A failure! 

I know, kid. I know it is. This is when you have to learn from your mistakes and not beat yourself up over it.

Fuck you! That’s easy for you to say from out there!

You have to make your own decisions. 

Why didn’t you stop me!!!

You’ll just dig yourself deeper, kid.

There has to be something that I can do? You need to help me!!! Maybe if I do this to make up for…

You can’t go back.

It will be alright… Let me think.

It always does. 

It made sense at the time. 

I never said you should or shouldn’t. You are the one questioning your decision because you were impulsive. You didn’t look at the full picture… at all the moves.

So we should be fine with mediocrity? Why not go all in? Or all out? Why not take a chance? 

I’m not questioning what you did…  You are. 

Stop sounding like a fuckin’ book! So let me guess… I should have just gone with the flow or whatever bullshit… 

At that moment all you wanted to hear was that one voice that agreed with that emotion. Nothing else. It’s only in the passage of time, that you allow your other voices to get a chance to be heard…  and that’s when the sense of doubt creeps into our head.  It’s only in the isolation that comes with silence that we can truly understand who we are. 

What? I don’t understand! Wait! Where the fuck were you when I needed help?

You were.

Fuck! Now look at me. I swear I felt like I was a different person.

I can’t tell you… only time can.  

It’s not that… But, do you think I was wrong?

At a drop of a dime, you let your emotions get the best of you. 

Yeah.

Till you didn’t.

I’m telling you!! I never felt so right about something… till.. I.. umm…

Don’t blame the messenger, kid. You sent me.

Fuck you!

That’s fine… Then why am I here?

I said I knew what I was doing!

You couldn’t just leave things alone. Just ride shit out! Show an ounce of patience! You really need to learn to let things play out. And just let us be fuckin’ happy! 

I know what I’m doing. 

You really love making shit difficult, kid. You know there are people out there who don’t have to deal with this! Because they learned from their mistakes. They learned how to be rational. 

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⬆️ SPIRAL UP ⬆️